How to turn feedback into rocket fuel

Many people dread feedback sessions. Yet there is good evidence that high-quality feedback enables learning and is the secret to great performance in sport and in business. I can’t resist rolling out my favourite quote about policy-making too: “we should not try to design a better world. We should make better feedback loops”.

Coaching is in essence, all about helping the client to obtain stronger feedback. Particularly when this comes from the client themselves, this enables greater awareness of their situation, their goals and the choices they have.

So how can we make feedback a positive helpful experience? Let’s invert the problem. Turn the question on its head: what would you do if you wanted to make feedback really bad?

Here are some ideas. They may sound familiar:

• Be insincere. Just say the minimum required to get the meeting over with.
• Do it once a year, at appraisal time, long after anyone can remember the specifics
• Respond to feedback defensively, without taking it on board, or alternatively, fish for compliments
• Be unspecific and fail to give examples of what you mean
• Be unfocused on the feedback that might be useful to the person
• Avoid ever asking or giving feedback unsolicited
• Don’t follow up or change anything as a result of the feedback you get.
• See ‘feedback’ as a synonym for complaining or criticising
• Don’t seek to understand the point of view of the other person
• See feedback as what other people give you  don’t give feedback to yourself
• Give feedback at an inappropriate time (when the person is busy) or place (in earshot of others)

 

With these in mind, how can we do it better?

• Encourage self-assessment. The more that people take ownership over assessing performance, the more likely they are to act on it. One way is to simply keep asking questions. Something I’ve found very useful (if painful) for presentation skills, is to film the performance, ask the person to watch it back and to tell you what they observe. It doesn’t require anyone else to watch it and cast judgement.
• Give specific feedback soon after the event. This means its fresh in everyone’s mind.
• Keep it regular. If necessary schedule it so you don’t forget
• Get in the right mindset. If you are giving feedback this means being honest, constructive and not judgemental. Perhaps more importantly, if you are seeking or receiving feedback it means being open, not defensive and seeing it as a route to get better.
• Build trust. This is a critical point for coaches. As Tim Gallwey says, the more support you provide, the more you can challenge.
• Think about where and when you give (and ask for) feedback.
• When you seek feedback, be as specific as you can about what you want feedback on. And ask people in advance so they can observe you.
• If you find someone who is willing to give feedback and does it well, make the most of them.

There is a lot to learn about giving feedback well, and doing it better can make a big difference for our teams and, as coaches, for our clients. But it is a mistake to simply wait for great feedback to be given to us. If we want to benefit and learn from it, we have to get out there and seek it, engage with it and turn it into fuel for change.